A member recently shared a story that reminds us that a gun is only a tiny part of the personal safety equation. I’ve long said that we get hyper focused on shooting for self defense and ignore the bigger picture to our great detriment. Paying attention to “left of bang” and acting if we see danger signs is so ably illustrated by a story about a Network member’s wife that I am passing along his advice in his own words.
—Gila Hayes
“May I help you?”
by Rev. Stephan M. Mattsen (Ret.)
Shouting “MAY I HELP YOU!!!” into someone’s face could be considered rude. It could also prevent an attack or even save your life. But . . . only if you don’t ignore your instincts.
My wife joined a health club located on the lowest level of a hotel with an adjoining multi-story parking garage. After finishing a water aerobics class, she paused outside the locker room for a drink from the water fountain. A man standing nearby with a gym bag in hand stared hard and deeply into her eyes. It was the kind of gaze that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
That odd look was so alarming she instinctively turned back into the locker room and waited for ten minutes. She surmised that, since he had been holding a gym bag, he had left the premises. A careful glance around outside the locker room assured her that he was gone. It seemed safe to leave and she took the elevator to the hotel exit leading through a corridor to the parking garage.
She noticed the scumbag following a couple who were headed into the garage toward their car. When he heard the door from the hotel click closed, he turned to glance at my wife and immediately slowed his pace. Terror caused my wife to begin shaking; she knew it was far too dangerous to return to the corridor or get on the elevator.
My wife had to walk to the far end of the garage so she made sure her key fob was in hand and slowed her own pace in order to stay behind the creep. Her one thought was to get into her car and lock the doors. Her adversary stepped between two cars, ostensibly to get into his own vehicle.
My wife rushed past him and the ghoul instantly stepped out behind her. Instinctively, she whirled and bellowed “MAY I HELP YOU!!!” at the top of her lungs directly into his face. The echoes of her voice trailed away as the predator backed off, mumbling in confusion, “I just wanted to look at the car.” His actions belied his explanation.
He displayed several classic pre-attack indicators: targeting, he fixed his attention on his victim; interviewing, he determined that his target was an easy victim; closing, he deliberately began shortening the distance to his victim; flanking, he approached his victim from behind. My wife, however, was having none of it and confronted him loudly and unexpectedly. Her attacker was badly shaken by the ferocity of her response. In all likelihood, he moved on to find an easier victim.
My wife was still shaking with fear by the time she reached the safety of her car but her instinct to react aggressively protected her from an attack. It also derailed the attacker’s plan of action. Colonel John Boyd developed the concept of the OODA loop: observe, orient, decide, act. My wife’s question, screamed into his face, doubtless short-circuited the perpetrator’s OODA loop. Situational awareness and trusting her instincts in that situation enabled my wife to escape harm.
If something doesn’t seem right, don’t ignore your instincts. That loud bang in a parking lot may be a gun shot, don’t ignore your instincts. Pounding on your front or back door late at night may be home invaders, don’t ignore your instincts. A person just standing and smoking near your ATM may be a mugger, don’t ignore your instincts. The couple wearing long coats on a hot day at the farmers’ market may not be there to buy vegetables, don’t ignore your instincts. A stranger bringing a backpack into your morning church service may be dangerous, don’t ignore your instincts.
Colonel Jeff Cooper popularized the color code of situational awareness: white – oblivious to the surroundings; yellow – a relaxed state of awareness of the surroundings; orange – something in the surroundings alerts to a possible threat; red – there is a definite threat demanding an immediate response. A rising level of awareness that a situation is threatening must not be ignored. Your brain is capable of processing danger signals you are not consciously aware of.
My wife is alive and unharmed because she displayed situational awareness and trusted her instincts. Don’t reduce your chances of survival in a perilous situation by ignoring the instinctive signals your brain is sending you. It may save your life and the lives of those you love.
My wife is alive and unharmed because she displayed situational awareness and trusted her instincts. Don’t reduce your chances of survival in a perilous situation by ignoring the instinctive signals your brain is sending you. It may save your life and the lives of those you love.